Thursday, August 5, 2010

"Oddball" Quotes: The Final Chapter

I promise that this will indeed "be" the Final Chapter... maybe.

Anyways, here's 21-30...

21. "The Chair really kicks ass..."
from "Shocker" (1990)

I love this movie. I grew up with this movie. Horace Pinker used to scare the shit outta me!! Anyway, there was a lot of cool lines in this flick. It's too bad they couldn't make a franchise out of Horace Pinker's character. He was a cool villain. And he had some awesome lines. This line, however belonged to Lt. Don Parker, after witnessing Pinker get turned into a crispy critter in the electric chair. I always loved this line. It had this badassery to it...

22. "Get the hell outta the way, Hammerhead!!"
from "Dirty Harry" (1971)

Inspector Harry Callahan has no time for bullshit. If you're in his way, just know you need to get OUT of his way!! This sentiment is all the more evident by this immortal line that he spews out at some lame-o pedestrian. This line rulez.. I used to use this line sometimes. I even used it on this one girl, to which she then hit me...

23. "People on Ludes shouldn't drive..."
from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" (1982)

I use this line all the time I encounter nutty drivers out on the road... Jeffrey Spicoli, however, uses this line best as he is mowing past people on the road in Jefferson's bitchin' car. Spicoli, is most obviously the one who shouldn't be driving, as he crashes the car later on. It all worked out!! They killed Lincoln!!

24. "Yeah, it was a Hamilton Beach blender..."
from "Intruder" (1989)

Taken from one of my favorite slashers, I loved this line. It was pretty hilarious. Bub (played hilariously by Burr Steers) is telling a tale of when Jennifer's A-hole ex-boyfriend Craig almost tried to kill him. And if it weren't for his brother's prowess for blender-hitting, he'd be done for.
And you gotta always remember the brand of the blender that saved your life!!

25. "Rat-a-tat, tat, tat-touille... Rat-a-tat, tat, tat-touille..."
from "Friday the 13th Part V - A New Beginning" (1985)

Surprisingly, this line isn't from the awesome animated flick "Ratatouille." This is actually some peppy little tune hummed by mega-douche Pete, mere moments before his demise at the hands of fake-Jason in one of my favorite "Friday" sequels that doesn't get a whole lot of love. This Pete guy was just begging to get killed. His death is one of those deaths that you wished would be seriously vicious and painful, but it wasn't, sadly. C'mon, fake-Jason! Step your game up!! You're following in the footsteps of a Legend!!!

26. "You're gonna die, you evil-hosting fuck-stick!! No one touches my Ford!!"
from "Idle Hands" (1999)

Oh, this movie... how I love thee. This gory, super-fun horror comedy is chock full of classic lines, but I enjoy this one the most. Randy was just a radd dude who loved his Crue, AND his awesome Ford truck. You fuck with one of these things, and it's hell to pay!! Anton should know this, even though is hand is possessed by a demon...

27. "Hey, Motherfucker..."
from "The Last Boy Scout" (1991)

This movie is an epic of badassery... it is full of great lines, courtesy of genius screenwriter Shane Black. This one simple line has my heart. Me and my crazed, action flick-loving friends in high school used this line all the time!! Usually as a nice greeting. Anyways, this line is used with brilliance by Taylor Negron, who made an awesome, unconventional villain. Almost like one of those weirdo James Bond villains. I know, if I was about to die, I'd want to be referred to by my full first name. Seriously, who would want to be called Mike, or worse, Mikey when they are about to die??

28. "You wanna go to hell?? You wanna go to hell with me??!?"
from "Cobra" (1986)

Marion Cobretti has committed his life to getting rid of the scum of the Earth. He's like a roided-out Dirty Hairy, if you will. He has no time to hear the mad ramblings of these loonies. He does however, take enough time to listen to the main villain go on about "pigs" and the New Order... blah, blah, blah! Take him out, Cobra!!

29. "Excuse me, is Greg here??... Thank you.."
from "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" (1993)

Pure comedic genius. There are countless lines that Jim Carrey used in his unforgettable role as Ace Ventura. This one rules, because it was used in an awesome scene at a killer Cannibal Corpse concert, during one of their classic songs, "Hammer-Smashed Face." He then asks a head-banger where his friend is, and gets an enthusiastic response. This is most definitely my favorite scene in the movie. Too awesome...

30. "Slayed by a withering look. Who gives a shit??"
from "Pieces" (1982)

Taken from the outrageously gory, awesomely bad classic "Pieces," this flick had some classic bad-funny lines ("It's my Kung Fu Professor!"), but I always got a kick out of this line. This line was used by the dorky friend of campus hotshot Kendall. Tryin' to be all suave, he tries hitting on a girl with disastrous results. He then utters this great line. I always crack up to that line. Great line, excellent movie...

Before I leave you, there are 10 great Runners-up that need be mentioned...


1. "She's a wanker! You're all wankers!!"
from "Reform School Girls" (1987)

2. "I foken' hate pikeys..."
from "Snatch" (2000)

3. "I hope your pants get caught, and a bloodbath ensues!!"
from "Mallrats" (1995)

4. "What's this boy talkin' 'bout on the telephone, mann??"
from "Weird Science" (1985)

5. "Shut your fat ass, Ravie!! I can't buy a pack of smokes without runnin' into 9 guys you fucked!!"
from "Boondock Saints" (1999)

6. "The days are like women. Each one is so damn precious... but they always end up leaving me..."
from "Assault on Precinct 13" (1976)

7. "Clean food, please..."
from "Fight Club" (1999)

8. "Bill's a good guy. He's been a big help to me, a real blessin'... I mean, I couldn't have asked for a better specimen. You don't know, what kind of dry spell I've been having here! Total block!! total block!!! But Bill, he's okay..."
from "House of 1000 Corpses"

9. "You taste like a burger. I don't like you anymore..."
from "Wet Hot American Summer" (2001)

10. "That'll do pig..."
from "Zombieland" (2009)

There you have it, folks!! That's it!! Class dismembered...

I leave you with this epic quote from the genius that is "Pieces"...

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