Music is My Life!!! - 25 Songs That "Made" Me...

Obviously, music didn't "make" me in some underground lab (I wish...), but I feel this very strong connection to it. Sometimes it speaks for me when I can't, don't want to, or don't need to. This has been this way ever since I was very young. I remember being 12 or 13, and identifying with music from such bands as Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam, etc. And ever since those early teen years, there have been a number of songs that have changed my life and "made" me the person I am today. In order to "make yourself," one must go through many things, like pain, heartache, sadness, despair, hate, rage, and many other emotions. Listed below are 25 songs that were there for me when I went through these things, and helped me out, and well, made me...

This list is in chronological order... from my teen years all the way up to now, this 26th year of my life...

1. "Lady Picture Show" by Stone Temple Pilots

One of the first bands I really got into was STP. This band later got me into the "Grunge movement" (Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden...) of the 90s, and this particular song reminds me of my very first girlfriend. I met her, we talked on the phone a lot, but it didn't work out very well because she was from Chicago, and the whole "long-distance" thing didn't work out. She liked a lot of the same music as I did, especially this song, which was a hit at the time...



It had this sadness to it. I listened to it for quite a bit after the break-up.

2. "Danny Says" by The Ramones

During my early high school years, I was in love with The Ramones!! I was like Riff Randle, but, you know... a dude. I wore their shirts, I rocked some Converse, and listened to them constantly!! At one point I had this one girlfriend who I went out with on and off for a few years. I remember telling her how "I Want You Around" reminded me of her. She kinda laughed it off. She wasn't really a big Ramones fan. One time, though, I read her the lyrics to "Danny Says." I remember she liked it, which made me feel good. The song itself is about being on the road, and wanting to be back home with that "special someone." Listening to the song now, it reminds me of high school. Plus, the song is awesome...



3. "Sub-Mission" by The Sex Pistols

I love this song. I love how in-your-face and ominous it is. Well, they were the Sex Pistols. This song feels like a weird love song that some bleeding, heroin-addicted, "No Future" punker would write for a special lady. I remember asking out this one girl while this song was playing in my car. She was not exactly a punker, but she was a constant in my life for many years, and I guess you can say we "met" to this song. So I guess this is a love song, but it's also an anti-love song.

4. "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult

My all-time favorite song by BOC, this particular song seems like a "death song," but it took me a while to figure out that it was a love song. When I was with this girl mentioned above, this was our unofficial "song," which made me happy, because I was glad it wasn't a lame-o country song or some Britney Spears shit. I'm still fond of this song, but I don't listen to it as much as I used to... but BOC still rulezz!!!

5. "Unsatisfied" by The Replacements

Man, too bad I didn't have a classic album like "Let It Be" to get me through my high school years!! Consequently, it wasn't until the Summer of 2003 (a few months AFTER I graduated) that I finally got the album, and loved it... The song I identified with the most was "Unsatisfied." That song really spoke to me. It was as if Paul Westerberg poured his soul out and transferred it into me!! I felt everything from that song. It still hits me, even today. Pure poetic angst...

6. "Nothin' For You" by TSOL

*Sigh* Another song I really feel "angsty" about... At one point in time I was really into the classic 1985 zombie flick "Return of the Living Dead" and its awesome soundtrack. Years ago, I didn't think too much about some of the lyrics, but in recent years the song definitely resonates, particularly this line:
"Am I still 24? Or am I starting to grow ol-ol-old!!!"

Eventually I did turn 24...
The tragedy of this story? I'm 26...

7. "House of Pain" by Faster Pussycat

For some reason, I always used to think that this song was merely a great 80s power ballad break-up song. I listened to it a lot following the break-up of a very long relationship. Little did I know that the song was basically a "I hate you, Dad!" anthem... much like "Cat's in the Cradle" was in that same respect. It's still a damn good song to brood to...

And, hey, I hate my dad...

8. "Still Loving You" by Scorpions

Another 80s power ballad that actually IS a break-up song!! I listened to this song heavily after said break-up. It is so epic and powerful. But, now I just think of it as a totally awesome song...



9. "Disorder" by Joy Division

The powerful, haunting opening track from their landmark album "Unknown Pleasures," this song is pure mood, doom, gloom, and beauty. I feel this song at my core. It was a very cathartic song to listen to after the aforementioned break-up. Joy Division's music really works. I only listen to them when I get seriously depressed.



10. "Hope" by Bauhaus

Another "Doom & Gloom" band, Bauhaus, the "Godfathers of Goth," ended their classic album "Burning From the Inside" on a pretty positive note with this song. Pure melodic, beautiful noise, the melodies were accompanied by these lyrics chanted over and over again:
"'Cause your mornings will be brighter, Break the line... Tear up rules... Make the most of a million times, no..."

A very beautiful... and yes, hopeful song...



11. "Living in Darkness" by Agent Orange

A nearly 5-minute long cascade into "dark punk," I totally identified with this song. Lyrics:

"I feel safe just being alone... Living in darkness, living in a world of my own..."

Need I say more??

12. "Reptile" by The Church

At one point in my life, I saw the video to this song on late-night TV. I forgot about it, but then I remembered hearing it at my workplace once. I HAD to find out who played the song!! Eventually I discovered The Church, and came across this classic song. A spiteful tirade against a former love, this song definitely spoke to me at the time of the aforementioned break-up.

13. "Prelude to Agony" by Type O Negative

After a break-up, one doesn't have to listen to melancholy songs ALL the time!! A little bit of Hardcore goes a long way. This 12-minute plus hate anthem of epic proportions, this classic Type O tune illustrates a graphic "payback" of a vengeful lover against his cheating ex. This song had it all: The Agony, The Ecstasy... and of course, the JACKHAMMERAPE!!!

This song was fucked-up... but also therapeutic.

14. "Everything Counts" by Depeche Mode

This song reminds me of my Aunt who passed away recently. She never listened to this band, but her daughter (my cousin) did. I think there's this great connection for me to this song and the two of them. I'll forever be reminded of them when I listen to this moody classic...

15. "Here Comes the Sun" by The Beatles

This was my late Aunt's all-time favorite band. And this was one of her favorite songs by them. It's a beautiful, majestic journey of a song, and I hope this is all she hears in Heaven...

16. "Jesus Doesn't Want Me For a Sunbeam" by The Vaselines

A haunting version of the classic Bible song, this cover by The Vaselines is full of melancholy and sadness. This is another song that reminds me of my late Aunt...




17. "I Want the Angel" by Jim Carroll Band

Punk's greatest poet, Jim Carroll went nice and melodic with this song, which features a piano. The poetry was amazing, Carroll's delivery was intense, and the band was never better. This is another song that reminds me of my late Aunt. She was The Angel...



18. "You Can't Put Your Arms 'Round a Memory" by Johnny Thunders

This song is everything. It is love. It is hate. It is pain. It is loss. It is heartbreak. It is loneliness...

It will be played at my funeral...



19. "I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts" by X

This song had a definite message behind it. Every time I listen to it, I'm under its influence. Powerful, powerful song...

20. "What a Wonderful World" by Ministry

This amped-up, freakout cover of the Louis Armstrong classic manages to be a beautiful disasterpiece!! This song has the Power, the Passion, and it's balls-to-the-wall...

21. "Lonely Planet Boy" by New York Dolls

I "feel" like the lonely planet boy in this song... Featuring a brilliant saxophone performance, David Johansen's mourning vocals, and the guitar masterwork of Johnny Thunders, I will forever identify myself with this song...

22. "Endless Rain" by X Japan

This epic, searing masterpiece of 80s metal awesomeness, this track comes courtesy of X Japan, who are basically the Guns 'N Roses of Asia. This song has the ability to make me feel sad, yet hopeful at the same time...



23. "Amerarockers" by Scream

Most of these songs are "Bummer Songs" (which says a lot about my life...), but anyway, this song makes me feel great. When I'm sad, angry, depressed, etc., this song always puts a grin on my face. It is that great...



24. "Don't Change" by INXS

This song is all about angst... It also has this great message about not changing for anybody... I'm in love with this song. It also reminds me of a cousin of mine who tragically died a young teenager recently. RIP Jeremy...

25. "Promises" by Fugazi

This song is brutal and uncompromising. It's all about how words can be used for or against somebody. There's a great power and urgency about this song. And I most definitely relate to it right now. Ian MacKaye bled through this song...



There you have it. 25 songs that really define "me." Of course, there are many others, but these 25 pretty much sums "me" up...

And, as Chop-Top so succinctly puts it,
"Music is My Life!!!"