A Tribute to My Top 30 Favorite "Oddball" Quotes from Movies... Part 1

There's nothing I love more than a bitchin' one-liner from a totally radd movie... From classic comedies ("Go back to your home on Whore Island!" from "Anchorman"), kick-ass action flicks ("Get to the choppa!!" from "Predator"), and, of course, horror flicks (the classic, "Groovy." from "Evil Dead 2"), there are boundless amounts of epic quote-age from all sorts of movies. The certain lines I enjoy are the quirkier ones. The ones that are just plain weird, but also pretty hilarious...

The following are 10 (out of 30) quotes that aren't the most frequently used or referenced by fans, but are still pretty awesome and noteworthy...



1. "Are you on PCP?!??"
from "Return of the Living Dead" (1985)

During one fateful shitstorm of a day, hapless mortuary attendant Ernie Carltonbruner fears the worst as he opens his front door of the mortuary to find a trio of weirdo punkers... Brandishing a gun, he rapidly points it at them and utters this immortal line. I always crack up heavily to this great, bizarre line. But hey, PCP was the "in" drug during those days...



2. "Ho, ho, ho... no dickie, no washy..."
from "The Toxic Avenger" (1986)

One of the great cult classics, this flick is full of zingers ("I always wanted to cornhole me a blind bitch!"), but this one is my all-time favorite. For some reason or another, dear old Toxie decides to dispatch of a tiny, seemingly innocent woman by shoving her into a dry-cleaning machine at the local laundromat. Hilarity ensues, as does this radical line. I love Toxie...



3. "Hey, this is a private residence, mann..."
from "The Big Lebowski" (1998)

It was either this or the "human paraquat" line. The whole damn movie is quoteworthy!!! I've always loved this line, though. All The Dude wanted to do was relax in his tub, and smoke some ganj... but then these freaky Nihilists show up with their "marmutt" and invade his delicate personal space. They obviously didn't care. They believe in "nu'ting!!"



4. "Is this the Cocksucker Residence??"
from "Serial Mom" (1994)

In a awesomely hilarious sequence, seemingly normal well-to-do homemaker Beverly Suckphin viciously prank calls her neighbor and unleashes a slew of righteous obscenities including this kneeslapper. My all-time favorite of all of John Waters' films, as well as the best line in that movie...





5. "I like to suck big dicks... Hmmmm... Hmmmmmm.... I can't get enough of 'em! Are you satisfied??"
from "Heathers" (1989)

Oh, Kurt and Ram. They were mature. They were "Seniors." But that didn't stop them from making some unfortunate geek confess an unspeakable act (near a church, no less...). The utterance of this unforgettable line was beyond hilarious. And the look on Ram's face during this "confessional" was priceless...





6. "You'd think I'd at least rate a Michelob..."
from "River's Edge" (1986)

Poor Layne. After covering up the murder that his dim-witted buddy performed earlier, all he wanted was some appreciation... in the form of beer. Instead, he got a generic brand that was "warm, even!" He can't catch a break... Crispin Glover owned that role of Layne, the hapless leader of a group of teenage outcasts who decides to help his "friend" who murdered his own girlfriend. And if a nice Michelob isn't the nicest form of friendship, I don't know what is...



7. "Do something, DAMMIT!!"
from "Night of the Creeps" (1986)

Obviously, there are tons of great lines from this classic 80s zombie flick ("Thrill me!!"), but I always tend to seriously crack up with this one. Poor Cynthia just witnessed the horror of seeing creepy slugs spewing out of her boyfriend's mouth, in which he then got shotgun-blasted to the head and burned alive by his ginger-haired competitor Chris ("Nothing personal..."). Frozen with fear, Chris pleads with her to use the flame-thrower on the surrounding crowd of zombies drawing near, by uttering this line. I don't know what it is, but there is just something about this line...



8. "I used to like these guys..."
from "Repo Man" (1984)

Oh, the melancholy of Otto. His favorite and once promising Hardcore band the Circle Jerks have turned into a bleedin' lounge act!! And it is hilariously reflected by this line from the Punk Cult classic...





9. "Fuck that shit!! Pabst Blue Ribbon!!!"
from "Blue Velvet" (1986)

Don't give Frank fucking Booth a pussy Heinekin!! Give him the good shit, dammit!! This is my favorite line from the David Lynch classic featuring the awesome performance of the late Dennis Hopper as Booth...





10. "You're a pain, Taffy. A pain in my big asshole!!"
from "Female Trouble" (1974)

The strained relationship between Dawn Davenport and her nutty daughter Taffy is fully realized with this memorable quote from John Waters' landmark movie of equal parts hilarity and "disgustitude"...

Runner-up: "Have another pretzel for Chrissake..."



God, I loves that movie...

Anywho, stay tuned for Part Deux, kiddies!!!